How To Save Your Marriage From Becoming A Statistic
If you are having constant arguments with your spouse, then you may be looking for answer for this question: how can I save my marriage? Quite often divorce seems to be the only solution, but there are ways that you could save your marriage. Of course, this will ultimately involve you and your partner. The following are some steps you can take to boost your chances of convincing your partner that it would be worth it to save the marriage.
Stop dreaming of fairy tale marriage
You can only find perfect couples or fairy tale marriages in the movies. In real life, there are only difficult marriages with problems. Studies actually show that unhappy couples and happy couples will disagree on the same levels. It’s how they don’t agree that can determine whether the marriage will thrive, survive or die.
Have realistic views for what your marriage require
Your marriage will have pain and will require hard relational and emotional work. This means that at times you have to take steps that you do not want to be able to save your marriage. Trust me, it will be worthwhile! Marriage will take some time to heal and mend, especially if there’s been a severe breach of trust. However, you can accomplish this and have a marriage that is healed and much stronger than before.
Forgive past problems
Yes, you are going to be angry and don’t want to excuse previous offences, but you should allow the mistakes in the past to end your marriage. This means giving your partner a chance to show that he is trustworthy.
Start to rebuild goodwill
In order to save your marriage it’s important to start behaving before you feel. Do things that show your partner that you are still in love. Aim for five actions of deliberate kindness on a daily basis, but don’t expect something in turn.
Learn how to communicate in a healthy way
You should only communicate feelings, observations, requests and needs.
Avoid the ‘you’ criticisms or statements. Rather than saying that you are always blaming me without taking blame for your actions, you should try to say I am aware that you are annoyed with me at the moment. But I felt frustrated and hurt that you are not listening to what I had to say earlier.
You want to completely remove criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling from your marriage. These are like toxic poison in any relationship.
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